relationships

there are many kinds of romantic relationships.
one : dating
two : dealing
three : marriage
though ive never been married and im usually on the outside looking in here it is :
dating, is fun in all until someone gets hurt. basically if youre not completley commited to it, it ends up ruined. and then theres internet dating , though i dont advise it at a young age it can be quite nice i would think ( i havent really done that before ). i think it'd be fine if you met & dated someone over youtube, there you have some background knowledge and it completes some the whole physical aspect of it. when you throw in physicality it jumbles up a normal dating relationship. some couples handle it well but when youre me, you dont want to be constantly thinking about him. im sort of a keep your guard up for the sake of not getting hurt but sort of hurting yourself in the first place kind of thing. i know that didnt make sense but continue on please. and then theres number two : dealing. dealing is like acting like a couple but not really dating. its sort of dating without a label and guard; sort of like an open relationship but worse, kinda. youre both stuck really liking eachother but one ( usually the boy ) would feel reluctant to ask you out making it offical. then theres marriage. though ive never experienced it, its hard to see anyone thats still together and happy these days. my parents are together but i wouldnt call them mr. and mrs. brady. i find it a load of cock and bull the fact that its going to take me so much for me and my future husband to stay married and happy. why cant it be easy like for my grandparents ? ballix.

basically, what im trying to say is: dealing sucks. you get frustrated because theyre not asking you out and you dont really know what else you could do. you try to drop hints making sure they know what you want and yet it never happens. if there was someway somehow i could make this guy see this without me telling him to, id be happy.

end of story

four days.
im freaking pumped